Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
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Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
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Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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