I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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