Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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