where am i from again
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
