after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's blow job season.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
