i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
