I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
