he puts the penis in happiness.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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