i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize