this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
