There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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