TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
