dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
