OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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