You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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