This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
no, he came in my armpit
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
