Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
