Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
