Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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