is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
