Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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