i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She needs sedatives and a leash
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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