So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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