making cat noises will not fix the situation.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize
