I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My penis needs a shock collar
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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