How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
