Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
