yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
