I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize