I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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