You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
