Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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