Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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