some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My cat gives me a boner
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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