I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
