she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
