I want to stick my p in your. b.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Farmville is her only friend.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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