Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
