I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
