Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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