Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
