just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
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To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
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I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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