I hope mine doesn't look like that
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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