It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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