JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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