So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
