We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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