Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
