i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
