life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I woke up under a house in Key West
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
