took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
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