dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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