No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
