It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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