Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
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At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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