Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
