I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
