my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
