That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
