Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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