Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
