I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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