me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
