dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
