dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
