i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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