Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
