I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
