She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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